Getting back to business: Navigating Motherhood and Returning to Work
Going back to work is a stressful time for any Mom. I, like so many other women, struggled with the idea of going back to work after three short months at home with my baby. Returning to work can stir up all kinds of emotions whether you're returning to a job you love or a job you need, it is equally stressful.
The universal feelings of mom guilt, missing milestones, missing your baby and at the same time wanting to return to your career and some semblance of your old life is a challenging transition to navigate. As you prepare to make your return to work, give yourself grace mama. This is the second huge life change in just a few short months. I know you are likely not sleeping well, worried about continuing your breastfeeding journey or if your baby will take a bottle with someone else, and wondering how to keep your bond with your baby while at work. These tips will help you and your little one transition back to work with ease.
Start Slowly
Book a few hours, then half days, followed by a full day before actually going back to work if possible. This gradual transition can take the stress out of the first official day of childcare for both you and your little one. Just like you, your little one will need time to adjust to you returning to work. No matter what age your child may be when you return to work they will need time to accept and adapt to a new environment. This can be especially helpful for toddlers if this is their first exposure to childcare.
Dealing with Separation Anxiety
Separation anxiety is a perfectly normal part of child development but it can make it hard on both the parent and child when it comes to returning to work. Make a “goodbye” plan and explain the process to your child before the first drop-off. You can say something like:
“Mama is going to work, you will stay with (childcare provider's name). When Mama drops you off, I will give you a big kiss and a hug, tell you I love you, and then leave for work”. (Whoever is picking them up) will be here after work to pick you up. I can’t wait to see you later!
Then when it comes time for drop-off follow the script and leave. As hard as it is to see your child cry for you, prolonging the drop-off can increase separation anxiety and further escalate your child's stress at drop-off. A calm, confident, loving goodbye from you will let them know they are safe. Talking it through and even practicing with dolls or through stories can be especially beneficial for toddlers who operate heavily on structure and routine. Another toddler separation anxiety trick is to pack a stuffed animal or beloved object from home in their bag. You could try using their favorite stuffed animal and saying:
“Mama gave Giraffe kisses and hugs to hold on to today. If you are feeling sad because you miss Mama, Giraffe will be right there for you with a Mama hug and kiss.”
Knowing what to expect ahead of time will help ease the separation anxiety and drop off. Plus having something with them that is a part of you too can help comfort the feelings of being away from you.
Practice Getting Ready
It may sound a little funny but getting ready to go to work plus getting my baby ready for daycare was an incredibly stressful process. It took me weeks to finally get down the routine of what she and I would both need to leave the house and have a successful day. Getting yourself and your baby ready for work a few times before the first day may help you work out any kinks in your routine. When packing for your little one, remember to keep in mind things like milk and formula storage, bottle labels, pacifier labels, familiar items from home for comfort, changes of clothes, diapers, wipes, etc. You may find it helpful and less stressful to communicate by pre-making baby’s bottles the morning of and providing written instructions on preparing the bottle to your baby's preference. This would be an excellent task for a partner to take on to divide the mental load of preparing to return to work. Everything takes longer with a little one in tow, knowing how long it will actually take to leave the house will help keep any first day mishaps at bay.
Involve your Partner
If you have a partner, involve them in the logistics of the drop-off/pick-up/getting-ready process. Amongst the million things you are already planning and possibly stressing about, you do not have to take on returning to work alone. Be sure to include your partner in interviewing child care providers with you. Partners can help pack the baby's things and do drop off/pick up as well. Sharing the mental load of childcare with your partner is an excellent way to make the transition back to work more bearable. Plus your childcare provider will come to know both you and your partner so clear, open, communication can happen between both parents and childcare provider. If you don’t have a partner be sure you tap into the resources you have available so you have a trusted person you can rely on to help you as you navigate returning to work.
Have a Pumping & Storage Strategy
Like so many mamas, I was worried that returning to work as a Registered Nurse would be the end of my breastfeeding journey. I had worked so hard to overcome a poor latch and supply issues. I was terrified that I wouldn’t have the time to pump at work to keep it up. I had no idea how I was going to be able to pump several times a shift when I had patients to care for. Clear communication with my team about my plan to step off the floor every 4 hours to pump made it possible and I successfully pumped at work for over a year.
Remember Federal law (FLSA §7 ) requires employers to provide reasonable break times and a safe place for any non-exempt employee to express breast milk for her nursing child for one year. California law (LAB §1030) further extends these protections to any employee for as long as the employee is nursing her child. (California Department of Public Health).
This does not mean pumping in a bathroom stall or coat closet as I have heard so many women say they do when they go back to work. It also does not mean using your break or meal time to pump. Before your first day back, call or send an email to ask where the allotted pumping area is and be sure it has access to electrical outlets for your pump if needed. You will also need to plan for milk storage while at work. If there is not access to a refrigerator you will need to plan to bring a cooler with ice packs or use a breastmilk storage system to keep milk safe until you are home. Setting a pumping schedule ahead of time and communicating with your supervisor or team can make it possible to continue your breastfeeding journey for as long as you wish.
Sleep & Routine
How will my baby sleep somewhere unfamiliar? Worrying about how your little one will sleep in a strange environment is perfectly normal! Of course, we want our babies to get good sleep while we are away. Remember, this is a transition for both of you. It may take a few weeks for your little one to fully adjust to their new environment. Understand that naps may be shorter than they are at home and you may have to adjust their bedtime for a few weeks to preserve their daily sleep totals while they are adjusting.
A few things that can help make naps at childcare easier are taking their favorite lovie, sleep sack, and/or blanket with them. If your child uses blackout curtains, a sound machine, or any other sleep prop be sure to provide those as well. These familiar items will help your child feel safe and secure during their nap. Be sure to talk to your childcare provider about what nap time looks like so they can keep it as homelike as possible. Trying to keep a similar routine for naps is also important in setting up nap success at daycare. Communicate with your childcare provider on what the routine of the day at home looks like and have a discussion with them about how they can provide that consistency at daycare for your child.
Keeping Your Bond
Remember Mama, there is no better Mama on the planet for your baby than you. You and your baby have an unbreakable bond that will last a lifetime. Returning to work can feel like you are going to hinder than bond but I am here to tell you it won’t. You will however need to be sure to include time in the day before and after childcare to fill your child’s attention cup. No matter how old your child is when you return to work, they will miss you. Being sure to give time and space for cuddles, play and undivided attention each day. Giving them time to just be present with you will ensure you stay just as bonded as before.
Find the Right Fit
Finally, the most important thing as you prepare to return to work is to hire a childcare provider that you trust. When you hire through June Care you know you are hiring a childcare provider that is trustworthy, reliable, and best of all, a Mom just like you.
A June Care Host will provide individualized child care to your child while also providing socialization and fun! Your June Care host and child will bond and ultimately your child will have a home away from home rather than a daycare. Plus, June Care Hosts provide so much flexibility your childcare needs will be taken care of no matter what your work schedule looks like. So much of the stress about returning to work will be eliminated when you find the perfect host for you and your child.
About the Author
Returning to work as a new mom is undoubtedly a significant milestone that can be both challenging and rewarding. I am Chelsea McMann, The Mama Coach and I am here to support you through whatever phase of parenthood you are in. I am a Registered Nurse in Private Practice dedicated to making parenthood easier from birth to potty training and all the milestones in between using scientific evidenced based solutions. I work with families locally and virtually around the country via 1:1 support and group workshops. If you're overwhelmed by the idea of going back to work and need help with a pumping plan, milk storage, weaning, feeding, or sleep, book a free discovery call with me at Chelsea-mcmann.themamacoach.com/booknow/. You can always find me @chelseamcmann.themamacoach. You got this mama.
References: https://www.cdph.ca.gov/Programs/CFH/DMCAH/Breastfeeding/Pages/Laws.aspx#:~:text=Federal%20law%20(FLSA%20%C2%A77,employee%20is%20nursing%20her%20child.
